Does my bum look big in this? Why feedback matters

by our new guest blogger: Monika Stafford, independent comms consultant

First, a word of heartfelt thanks. Following my recent blogoffer for a copy of Blueprint, I’ve been quite overwhelmed by the kindly and constructive feedback received by readers from around the world. As with many pioneering new ventures it will doubtless evolve and adapt, but thanks for all your insights. I do hope as many people get to use it as have committed to in 2009 – go for it! Do keep them coming.

Of course, I shouldn’t sound surprised at the calibre of feedback after all internal communicators by trade should be feedback experts. It’s one of the natural processes underpinning true dialogue, but perhaps it’s also a skillset we take for granted. Should we be sharpening this up in 2009?

The role of the internal communicator is naturally to be the trusted advisor, bringing an objective perspective to any kind of organisational performance. After all, we get to access all areas of the organisation, allowing us to objectively compare and contrast, seeing what makes a great performance, and when it’s needed to improve. It’s here backstage where we make some of our best contributions.

‘You did  whaaaat?’
Feedback is a circular process, and by feeding in the outputs of the previous round, it should lead to an increase in performance – both your own, or your organisations. But a look at what happens when we are not called on or our feedback goes unheard can show precisely the opposite effect.

Two (I won’t say "Great") British institutions failed to do precisely that last week - Prince Harry and Kate Winslet. For non-Brits I’m sure you’ve heard of at least Kate’s Golden Globe moment (bound to be a YouTube classic:

Kate’s faux pas seemed to be a matter of poor rehearsal. But hang on, surely even knowing you were nominated for a Golden Globe (albeit the second of the evening) would have involved just a few moments of pre-thought, perhaps even practice, in front of a trusted advisor?  Standing on a stage is surely her line of work, so no excuse of being outside her comfort zone. Plus it seems that having a partner ‘in the trade’ is also no substitute for an objective expert, who could quite constructively worked through her odd self invitation to ‘gather, gather’.

However HRH Harry’s issue with the release of his latest "home" video, complete with seeming unguarded musings on his work colleagues, appeared to be a different matter. It emerged afterwards in coverage of the incident that he had apparently taken counsel from his colleagues who reportedly didn’t mind his name calling, nor, in a strange show of familial camaraderie, do his Dad’s friends either. But again, were these the right people to consult? Could they really speak for the lay person audience who will end up seeing and hearing a member of the royal family in (another) race related gaff?

So a thought experiment here for the trusted adviser we internal communicators need to be.

How would you have approached giving the feedback? Play back that moment in your mind when you know you should have told the CEO they looked like a wooden top in the latest vision video. Although not quite in the league of an A-list celebrity, more should be required than just "Don’t worry, no one will be watching".

Preparation is everything
Clearly the foremost rule must be get to your person first – preparation is everything. When you know the performance is coming up, be there at the door. Citing your reasons why – including a history of the bad stuff they hope no one remembers - may also help. And don’t take "I don’t need to rehearse" as an answer. "Remember Kate?" is all you need whisper. 

Secondly, be honest. Just because times are tough doesn’t mean you should bite your lip. The mess could be much worse. But also examine your motivations for asking. Are you really prepared to change as a result of being told the horrible truth? Remember no one ever got away with brushing off the question "Does my bum look big in this?" with "not as much as it usually does".

CEO whisperer
Earn a reputation for fine advisory services to continually prove your credentials, but beware, go softly. Modesty and humility are your best assets if you want to whisper in your CEO’s ear. No one wants to seek advice from a big mouth.

And do remember, feedback is a gift. If you are not invited to give it, examine why not. Better still, seek feedback from the person you would like to be a trusted advisor to. Because otherwise you’ll be relegated to giving feedback after the event, and that’s called hindsight, and anyone can do that.

What about you – what’s the most important lesson you’d give about becoming a feedback expert? Why not share your views by responding here.