The joy of sechs

Dat gotya intressed, dinnit?

Won ov tha theengs eye njoy a bout tis jawb iz thee proppa uze ov langwidge. Az a comm uni cater I off den fine evry won pix mee up bout thee sleye teste spelink mizsteak. Eym bemoosed bi txtink n cuncerned bi thee disshapp here ance ov gramma an thee abilitee 2 wright.

Eva sins Geoffrey Willans an Ronald Searle unveil satrical genus an gorila ov 3B, nigel molesworth, 2 thee genral publik bak in 1953 (an noh, eym not tha old as any fule kno) propar spellink hav bean unner thret. Or hass it? Spellink, gramma an langwidge all eefolve ova teym. Molesworth was bare leigh ov an age whun TV waz spread ink - thee intanet, mobail fones an Skye plus not quiet fought off.

As txting (an twittering) get moor pop ula, r thay a thret to r stablis shed rools? If wee look bak 2 Shakespeare's teym, meaninks shifed. If wee look bak 2 18th sentery righting, clawses r dens an sentenses ferboze. Peraps thee addfend ov telyfission an thee knead 2 cell adfertisink tha stix in thee memry in a fery short teym iz helpink us 2 condens thee weigh wee speek (an peraps rite).

Thee beast cellink noospapa in tha UK iz Thee Sun and 4 good reasin. (No, naught tha raisin). Nex teym u get a chans, tayk a look at a storie carreed by bofh Thee Sun an it's staplem8t The Times. The Sun's writres do a very cleva job of takin complecks in4m8shun an summerising it sucksinkly. The Times will tri 2 cet aught a wordee an errude ight argyoumened.

Butt which waye shood langwidge go? As communic8ters ar we boun 2 stik by thee rools? (an if u wanrt the rools, try Lynne Truss' xsellant 'Eats, Shoots & Leaves' or thee onlee stile bibel tha countz, The Economist Style Guide.) Or doo wi xsept thee maach ov teym? Wot doo u fink?

(And if you think this is hard to read, try Iain M. Banks' 'Feersum Endjinn', a novel mostly written in phonetic English...)